


Sick Day

by AlloftheFandom



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Anal Sex, M/M, Oral Sex, Oviposition, Pesterlog(s) (Homestuck), Sickness, altered mental state, aphrodisiacs (kinda), dubious consent a little, hoo boy, its consensual its just never outwardly stated and its a little sketch, just like a little tho and not really, this ones a doozy, why the hell did i write this again
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-27
Updated: 2017-12-27
Packaged: 2019-02-22 12:48:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13167252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlloftheFandom/pseuds/AlloftheFandom
Summary: "What's bothering you? You look fuckin bad as shit." Dave asked, sipping at the last bit of coffee in his own mug."Wow, thanks Dave." Karkat grumbled, plopping down into the chair next to him. "For your information, asshat, I woke up and it felt like someone was stabbing me in the gut and twisting the knife around in me. Again.""Well shit, that fuckin sucks."





	Sick Day

As soon as Karkat pulled himself downstairs Dave could tell something was up. Karkat had ended up sleeping longer than he did most nights now that he was somewhere he felt safe, but it was abnormal as hell for him to get up later than ten. Even worse, it had passed noon about twenty minutes ago and Karkat looked like a complete mess as he tried not to tumble head over ass down the stairs.

Sometimes he wondered if Karkat had put that staircase there just for inconvenience sake. Then again, he was approximately the human equivalent of two when building it so he probably had no god damn clue what he was doing really. Maybe that's why the crawlspace on the top floor was so small?

Dave was pulled out of his reverie as Karkat nearly dropped a steaming mug of sugared up coffee on the counter and he cursed loudly. He was angrily glaring down at the mug, a deep frown set in his features. Karkat was generally a pretty grumpy dude who wouldn't stop being a Grade A asshole until he'd had his morning coffee, but this unbridled rage at the whole waking world was hardly the same. They'd been together long enough that Dave could easily tell his pissy moods from one another and this one was quite a rarity, generally only reserved for sick days.

"Hey babe?" Dave finally spoke up from where he'd been sitting at the counter across from his boyfriend. Karkat looked at him.

"What's bothering you? You look fuckin bad as shit." Dave asked, sipping at the last bit of coffee in his own mug.

"Wow, thanks Dave." Karkat grumbled, plopping down into the chair next to him. "For your information, asshat, I woke up and it felt like someone was stabbing me in the gut and twisting the knife around in me. Again."

"Well shit, that fuckin sucks." Dave gently rubbed at his boyfriend's lower back. He leaned back into the touch and let out a half hearted trill in happiness and comfort.

"Yeah, it does as you so eloquently put it 'suck.' I can't wait for whatever this is to move the hell on and get the fuck out of my system. Doesn't it know I have shit to do today?" Karkat whined, scowling.

"Aww c'mon babe, would spending a day in with me really hurt you that bad? I thought you loved me?" Dave fake swooned, throwing his free hand across his forehead in true damsel in distress fashion. "I can't believe you, Karkat!"

"Stop being an overdramatic bulge wart, your first words to me today were, 'you look like shit.' You brought this fate on yourself." Karkat said, idly sipping at his still hot coffee.

"How you wound me babe. I'm gonna go die now, die because you hate me. Sigh." Dave complained airily, totally not faking it or anything.

"Do it, bitch." Karkat said, slowly looking over at his boyfriend. "You fucking w- AH FUCK!"

Karkat threw an arm around his abdomen and cursed loudly, the mysterious pain obviously returning. He growled loudly in pain, raking his other hand against the countertop. Dave withdrew his hand from his boyfriend's back and awkwardly hovered his hands around him, not fully sure what to do. He was never sure what to do when someone else was in pain. Would moving him work? Wait no, aren't you not supposed to move someone that's hurt? Or is that just in the case of something really bad? What does this count as even? Shit did he say that one out loud?

"SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET ME UPSTAIRS, DIPSHIT." Karkat hissed at him. He sounded scared.

Dave gave him an awkward two fingered salute and scooped him up into his arms. It had been awhile since he'd actually done any kind of physical activity, so the strain from carrying a half grown troll was a bit more than he'd expected. Still though, he persisted, no matter how heavy his boyfriend felt and how much his back was gonna be killing him later. Gotta get this boy up the stairs.

He set Karkat down onto their bed and put a hand against his suffering boyfriend's forehead. He didn't feel any warmer than he normally did which was pretty damn warm. Dave sat on the bed next to him and ran a hand through his tangled mess of hair. Karkat looked up at him with hazy eyes and pawed at Dave's stomach.

"What the fuck is that supposed to even mean?" Dave asked with a slight chuckle. Karkat made a noncommittal grumbly whining noise and tugged at Dave's shirt.

"Do you want me to lay down?" Dave asked him. Jesus Christ talk about a 180 in his mood.

"Yes, you fucking twink. Get down here and let me lay on your chest." Karkat shot a glare at him, displeased.

"Rude. Are you sure you want me to lay down instead of get you some pain meds or something? Like cuddlin up with you's great and all, but when the pain starts pummeling you in the gut like that again I don't want you to rip my body to shreds. I kinda need that to live you know. Don't scratch the merchandise and all that shit."

"Fuck, you're right. Fuck you for making me say that. Go get me something." Karkat grumbled and let go of Dave's arm.

"Aww thanks babe, I'm glad you value this sweet ass so much. I love you too." Dave laughed, walking across the hall to get into the bathroom medicine cabinet.

"You know what I was talking about, shithead." Karkat called back. Dave could just imagine the frustrated look on his boyfriend's face.

Dave pulled assorted medicines out of the cabinet until he found what he was looking for. He left the rest of the bottles out because if he put them back wrong Karkat would have his ass mounted on the wall. That guy and his organization, god.

Dave handed Karkat his water bottle and the pills. Karkat downed them both in one gulp, a feat that Dave wasn't really sure how it made him feel. He could barely take pills as is and the fact people could just do that kind of astounded him.

Karkat patted the bed beside him and Dave laid down before he could move his hand. Karkat bristled and tugged his hand back to himself.

"I'm just gettin comfy." Dave said, suppressing a laugh at his boyfriend's expression.

"You're being an ass is what you're doing." Karkat stated firmly before curling up next to Dave with his head on his chest.

The two laid in bed, chatting in soft tones until Karkat eventually passed out. The pills generally knocked him out pretty quick which left Dave stuck in bed with a sleepy troll on his chest. He was fine at first, but there's only so much one can do while laying in bed before they start to get bored out of their mind.

Dave found himself wondering about what exactly it is that might be bothering his boyfriend so much. He knew that trolls could get sick, but he'd never seen anyone like that before. Karkat was acting almost like Rose did when she was on her period. Ornery, in pain, just wanting to sleep. Dave was 87% sure that trolls didn't get periods. Maybe it was just a little bug? That or he was really fucking constipated.

With a lot of effort and careful movements, Dave slipped out from under his slumbering boyfriend and back into the kitchen to grab his phone. If anyone knew what was going on, it was probably Kanaya. She was smart about that shit, right?

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering grimAuxiliatrix [GA] at 12:59 --

TG: hey kan youre smart about medical shit right

She responded fairly quickly which took Dave a bit by surprise.

GA: In Some Ways I Would Suppose I Am

GA: Why

GA: Whats Up

TG: karkats come down with some weird stomach bug

TG: or something ig

TG: im not actually sure if hes sick or not now that i think about it

idk hes just in pain and being extra bitchy and im kinda lost

GA: Well Shit That Does Sound Like Quite The Predicament

GA: And Where Did You Say This Pain Was

GA: Oh Yeah The Stomach Area You Just Said That

GA: Sorry If Im A Bit Frazzled I Barely Slept Last Night

TG: sorry to hear that man

TG: but do you got any clue

GA: I Cant Say That I Do

GA: Given The Information Youve Told Me It Could Be A Lot Of Things

GA: My Advice Would Just Be To Keep An Eye On Him Until Tomorrow And If Hes Not Feeling Better I Think Actual Medical Intervention May Be Best

TG: aight thanks kan

GA: Sorry If I Wasnt All That Helpful

TG: nah youre fine dont worry about it

TG: im sure hell be back up and all good in a bit

GA: Whats He Doing Right Now

GA: I Tried Messaging Him But He Hasnt Responded Yet

TG: oh hes fuckin out

TG: took some pain meds and was out like a shitty old lamp thats been running non stop for the past few years

TG: just turn the damn light off for once god

TG: its too god damn bright

TG: what did you literally harness the sun into that bulb

TG: i swear im gonna get a sunburn on my dick from that thing

TG: turn off the damn lamp

GA: . . .

TG: uh sorry

GA: Youre Fine

GA: Im Going To Go And See If I Can Be More Help

GA: Rose Has A Few Tomes Around On Medical Things

GA: If I Find Anything Useful Ill Let You Know

TG: aight

TG: talk to you soon or whatever

GA: Yeah

GA: Ttyl And All That

TG: pfFUCK

GA: What

GA: Is Something Wrong

TG: no shit

TG: just ignore that

GA: No Dave Tell Me Whats Wrong

GA: Im Going To Type A Face Now That Should Hopefully Get My Point Across

GA: :?

TG: dont you have weird books to read

GA: Shit

GA: Gotta Go

\-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] has ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 13:14 --

Dave was still reeling from the fact that Kanaya had literally just typed ttyl like some sort of old woman who just learned about acronyms in the year of our Lord 2017. Did anyone even still use those dumb acronyms? Yeah, his mom did. Shit.  
\---  


A few hours later, the sun had fully set beyond the horizon. Winter had fully set in and it was making its presence known earlier and earlier in the day. Dave hadn't seen any snow yet but he was really hoping there wouldn't be any. Snow was bullshit and he didn't want anything to do with it. He was good chilling in warmer climates or just indoors if worst came to worst.

He'd gotten bored of trying to bother all his friends for attention and most of them not responding as they were pretty damn busy. He did have a pretty long conversation with John about acronyms and how dumb most of them were despite both of them using them fairly regularly in speech. Sometimes you just gotta drag yourself.

Dave was so busy caught up in dicking around on his laptop that he didn't even notice Karkat coming downstairs until he sat down next to him on the couch which nearly scared the socks off of him. Karkat leaned his head onto his boyfriend's shoulder and gave him a soft kiss on the neck. He idly leaned into the touch, but didn't take his eyes off the screen.

"Hey babe, I'm glad to see you're up." Dave mumbled. Karkat purred loudly in response and snuggled closer. "Not gonna say anything, huh?"

Karkat simply nuzzled his face against his boyfriend's neck more and didn't say anything. He seemed oddly content and comfortable despite the immense pain he was in earlier.

"So uh, do you feel better?" Karkat nodded against him and squeezed at his arm.

"A lot actually." Karkat replied in a dreamy far away tone. The meds hadn't made him sick had they? Maybe he had a fever.

Dave lifted a hand and placed the back of it against his boyfriend's forehead, but he still felt his normal temperature. He had no idea what was wrong with his boyfriend and it was starting to get to him. He did get snuggly, but he never ever got like this. Dave was usually the one to be getting all over him and begging for his attention.

"Dave, can we watch a movie?" Karkat asked. Finally, something not fucking wild out of his mouth for the first time that day. Dave figured he could handle a movie and some snuggles on the couch.

Dave put in whatever movie was on the bottom of the pile that now permanently resided on the corner of their TV stand. He hit play on the menu screen and curled up on the couch with his boyfriend who immediately climbed into his lap. God, his Karkat was cute when he was snuggly.

About fifteen minutes into the movie it quickly became evident to Dave that Karkat had no interest in watching it. He had been kissing at his neck, trying to keep his attention on him which wasn't hard for Dave. He'd seen whatever boring ass rom com was in there at least ten times, missing it again wasn't a big deal.

Karkat slipped a hand up his shirt and bit gently at his neck. Dave reached over him and pushed his sweater up so he could run his hands over his boyfriend. Sometimes Dave was just completely astounded with not only how Karkat looked, but also how he felt under his touch. Dave had no clue how he god so damn lucky with him.

Karkat kissed down his neck and began kissing a biting at Dave's collarbone, making him moan softly and run his nails down his back in response.

Dave moved one hand up to fist into his boyfriend's hair and tugged on it hard to remove him from his collar. He loosened his grip and Karkat immediately dropped down to start kissing and biting at his mouth. Dave lazily reciprocated the kisses, still occasionally pulling at Karkat's hair to make him growl. Dave pushed Karkat into a sitting position on his lap, breathless.

"Do you wanna maybe take this upstairs?" Dave suggested, grinding his hips against his ass.

"I think that might be nice." Karkat replied, a deep purr prominent under his voice.

Karkat slipped off of Dave and scooped him up into his arms much to his surprise. Being carried was always nice, even if if did feel a bit strange to him. The stairs always posed a bit of a challenge, but the managed to get through this time without Dave hitting his head on at least two picture frames.

Karkat dropped Dave on the bed, making him bounce a little upon contact. Sometimes Dave wished he wasn't so thin and easily susceptible to things like a springy mattress. Or cold weather.

Karkat climbed on top of him, boxing him in. Dave reached up and pulled Karkat down into another passionate kiss. Karkat's hands wandered down and grabbed his boyfriend's hips, causing him to jerk up underneath him.

Dave pushed Karkat over and onto his back, reversing how they were previously laying. Now on top, Dave shed his shirt and began to kiss down his boyfriend's still clothed chest. He should probably get rid of that he realized. He pushed the hem of the shirt up onto Karkat's chest which he then took off in mild annoyance to how it was bunching.

Dave continued down on him, pushing the waistband of Karkat's sweatpants and boxers down past his hips so he could get at his prize. He pressed a few kisses around the edges of Karkat's nook, making his thighs shake in anticipation. He kicked his legs a little, trying to get his pants the rest of the way off and failing. Dave pushed them the rest of the way down and settled himself between his boyfriend's thighs.

Dave kissed and nipped at Karkat's thighs, making him squirm and moan desperately. He kissed up the length of one thigh and slowly dipped his tongue between the folds of his boyfriend's nook. He tasted vaguely sweet, more so than he normally did. Maybe it was because he was sick? That made sense, right?

Dave slipped his fingers up into Karkat's nook and lapped up at where his bulge would surely be making its grand appearance like it did everytime. He pushed his tongue into it, the tip meeting with the tip of his still sheathed bulge. It squirmed against his tongue and pushed it and itself out, curling against itself as soon as it hit the cooler air of the bedroom. Dave wrapped his lips around the tip and began sucking at him.

Something seemed off about his bulge, it was almost as if it was somehow thicker than it normally was. That didn't seem right, but Dave had a hard time even questioning it as his mind seemed to slowly fill with a dense fog, like someone had left a smoke machine running in another room and they'd just opened the door to the room he was in, leaving him choking against the fog.

Except, he was fine. A little dizzy maybe and a little out of it, but fine. The fog was hard to push through and Dave found himself not really wanting to anymore the more he sucked. The movements of his fingers in Karkat's nook eventually slowed to a stop and he could barely keep his mouth going against his bulge which was a first.

Karkat pulled him up from his bulge and laid him down next to him. He wasn't gonna complain if Karkat was about to fuck him, that sounded great actually. He felt like he like he was drifting, not really catching on anything, just weightless and free to whatever Karkat was going to do to him. Not that he would've really been opposed to it if he had been lucid.

Dave idly noted the fact that Karkat was kissing at him and murmuring soft words against his neck. Shit, something felt really nice, was that his ass? It was probably his ass. God, he wanted Karkat to fuck him now.

That was the only thought he could even register anymore. He wanted- no, needed Karkat to fuck him, now. He ground down against Karkat's hand, trying to get more pleasure out of the two fingers he had in there.  His dick hurt he was so turned on, how long had he even been hard for? The thought slipped away from him like a stick of butter on a metal slide on a summer day. There was no way he was getting that back. What was he thinking about again?

Dave couldn't even try to remember as he was thrust back into reality by Karkat's bulge sliding into him. He felt thicker than normal, which almost certainly confirmed Dave's hazy note of it looking thicker from earlier. Karkat's bulge writhed as much as it could in his ass, stretching him more and more.

Dave decided he liked Karkat's new extra thick bulge more than he liked his normal one. He'd never felt so full in his life and he certainly wasn't complaining. Dave let himself be fucked further and further into a daze, barely even registering the moans and curses that were escaping his mouth. That was however until Karkat's bulge seemed to get impossibly thicker at the base.

Dave snapped back a level into full consciousness only to feel the unnamed thickness travel up the length of his boyfriend's bulge and slide out, further into him. He couldn't focus fully still, but he fought as hard as he could manage against the dense, cloudy fog that still clung to the corners of his mind. He felt another thickness enter the base of Karkat's bulge and by extension, his ass only for the whatever it was to nudge hard against his prostate, finally making him cum so hard he swore he saw stars.

He fell into a post orgasmic daze, partially from how hard he'd just came and the hazy fog that still encompassed his mind. His dick was stuck at half mast, seemingly unable to fully give up thanks to the assault on his ass. Another thickness pushed itself into him, easier than the last two. He wasn't sure if it was due to being loosened up or if that one was just smaller. The fog told him to ignore it, he obeyed.

Two more passed and Dave felt full almost to bursting. Karkat was still buried in him and seemed to be focusing hard on trying to finish. Dave was starting to come back to as a final thickness pushed its way up his ass and settled with the others. Karkat finally came into his ass, cursing loudly and biting down at the juncture between Dave's neck and shoulder.

He pulled out of him, panting, seemingly fully spent. He looked like he was a hairs breadth away from passing out, but he still wrapped his hand around Dave's dick and jerked him until he came messily into his hand. He gave Dave a tired smile and curled up next to him.

Dave found himself drifting off soon afterwards, his arms wrapped around Karkat.

\---

Dave awoke in the morning to Karkat sitting over him, a concerned expression on his face. "Hey cutie, what's with the look?" Dave asked sleepily. It was too soon after waking up for him to be even remotely awake.

"Look? What lo- No, fuck you not right now. Dave something's wrong." Karkat said, hands fisting into the blankets.

"Oh shit, what is it? Fuck, what's wrong?" Dave asked, forcing himself into awakeness.

"See for yourself." Karkat replied, pulling the blanket off of the both of them.

Dave was confused for a moment and then he felt his heart stop as his eyes tried to process what exactly they were seeing. There was a definite bump in his stomach that hadn't been there the previous day. He replayed the previous evenings events, mostly blanking out on the details except for- Oh Jesus fucking Christ.

"Did you lay fucking eggs in me?"

**Author's Note:**

> just a little note on some things  
> in this dumb au i made troll jizz is essentially an aphrodisiac to humans, some are more potent than others and normally karkat falls under the weaker end of things, so much so that under normal circumstances it wouldn't effect a human  
> also in the au limebloods were capable of laying eggs for whatever reason idk thats just how it be and since kats blood is a mutation he ends up with that as well and when his body goes through this intense need to lay the egg his hormones kick into overdrive and he gets cramps similar to what a lot of women experience when theyre on their period and cuz of the hormones or smthn the whatever thats in troll jizz that makes it an aphrodisiac to humans gets kicked waaayyyyy up  
> anyway thats it thanks for coming to my ted talk


End file.
